I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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