btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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