..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
