i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
