I got her a Nickelback box set.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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