Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
