if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
