normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
