Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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