boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
