Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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