I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
please come you make the beer taste better
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
