Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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