before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
