pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
