I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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