I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
