i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
