big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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