...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize