ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I have aggressive nipples.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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