try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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