I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize