I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I will be naked everywhere
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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