I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
