it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
