I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
