new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize
