We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
