you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
