I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
