Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
