Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
