WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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