your thong is hanging out like whoa
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
