just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I see more hoeing in ur future
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