oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
