Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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