so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
