let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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