im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
