I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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