Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
