Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
