I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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