The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
