Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
