I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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