did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think people are normalizing furries
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
