saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
