There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
