People in love make me want to vomit
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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