don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
