Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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