does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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